It is hard

Since I made a commitment to write a journal page every week, and I don’t want to disappoint myself, I feel like I have to write something.

I know this journal should revolve around jewellery and the jewellery business. But a jeweller is a human too.

I’ve been trying to write for a few days now, and all I have are a few drafts with decent ideas. I just can’t seem to finish anything. Everything feels irrelevant and flat. At the same time, I’m struggling with new jewellery models I want to create.

And honestly, I just feel anxious and off.

I keep trying to push through it because life keeps moving anyway and things won’t magically get done on their own.

Of course, I keep searching for a reason. Is it the general geopolitical situation and too much information, so maybe I should shut it all out? Is it spring fatigue that will pass? Or do I simply need a break?

Between two kids, daycare, school, cooking, cleaning, four or five running lists in my head, managing a small business, trying to meet deadlines and keep everyone happy, is it okay to say that sometimes it just gets hard?

Sometimes all I want is to sit in a quiet room with snacks and watch Love Island (or something equally mindless).

On the other hand, I have two healthy, beautiful kids, a husband who is in this with me, a family that is alive and well, food to cook, a home to take care of, and my own small business.

And in today’s world, there are no bombs falling over my head.

Im not so sure anymore that it is hard. Maybe I am just soft and I should get over myself.